God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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