So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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