i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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