So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
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Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
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I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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