she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Randomize
