can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
