"it" just moved
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
