Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
