ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
