I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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