New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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