some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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