I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Randomize
