I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
