i don't like sucking hair
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
