I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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