dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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