try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
