So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
