There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You can't special order awesome
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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