based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
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You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
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I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize