I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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