So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
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We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize