she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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