Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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