Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
