wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize