You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
