He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
