I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
