we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
