y did u give ur computer a hand job?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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