you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
