WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
