every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
