I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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