wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
