Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
