I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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