You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize