Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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