Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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