New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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