Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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