You're so nebulous sometimes
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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