Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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