if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Someone came in the potted fern
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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