While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
