my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize