You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so let's talk penis.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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