You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
