im drinking this country out of the recession.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
