He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
