Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
