i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
