Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
