you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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