the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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