Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
