You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she told me i tasted like america
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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