You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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