Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
